Monday, April 11, 2011

Why I changed my mind about having kids

No kids!

Those were the words that I said when I told my dad I was going to get married.  From there we ended up in a heated discussion where I remember telling him “it’s not your decision.  It’s our decision.” I know he didn’t like it but it truly was our decision to make.  

Looking back on it I kind of know why I said that (I’ll admit that I could have been better about how I said it).  I have two bachelor uncles.  Not party it up with the ladies uncles, but well off uncles who have never married and don’t have any kids.  We also had a delivery driver who worked for my parents that expounded on not having any kids or getting married.  He eventually did get married and adopted a kid!  But at the time I was dead set against having kids. I was uncomfortable around them and didn't know how to act around them. I suppose to a certain extent I still have those issues, but it's time to change!

Over time things changed and both of our hearts began to change.  My wife and I had a discussion one afternoon in the summer of 2010 and decided that we both were really wanting kids.  My wife wasn’t to keen on the idea of having a baby ourselves, she wanted to adopt, but I wanted to have our own flesh and blood. Someone that could carry on our name and would be of our own creation.  Don’t get me wrong I would have and will love any child that we have, but I wanted to at least try to have our own.  And it didn’t take the long.  We are only a few months away from having our own baby.

I’m excited and nervous all at once.  Probably not an uncommon occurrence with fathers to be.  There’s a lot of questions to be asked and explored and much more to learn.  I just hope in the end that I can be the best husband and father that I can be.  

Did you have any similar discussions from parents or get pressure from parents to have kids?

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